I’ve recently begun something I never – ever, in a million years – thought I’d do. In fact, if you had asked me point blank even a few months ago to become a consultant for a direct sale company, I’d have furrowed my eyebrows, shaken my head as I backed away, and said that was not for me. No way, no thank you, I don’t think so. Today, though, that’s exactly what I am: a new consultant for a national direct sale company.
I’m including a link to my business page in my sidebar, but since that’s not what this post is about, I’m not going to harp on the company or the product here (or in any future posts, for that matter). No, the point of this post today is to explain how it is that someone so resistant to something can all of a sudden become completely gung-ho, for lack of a better word, about that very thing.
The short answer to that reasonable question is this: God. Only God can do something like that.
The long answer is somewhat more complicated. Because prayers and heartfelt longings and soul-deep desires that can’t even be expressed in words….well, they’re more complicated than quick, pithy answers.
Several years ago, I really began taking this writing journey seriously. I redid my site, changed my domain name, registered for all kinds of customization options, and – in a huge leap of faith for me – began attending conferences geared toward Christian writers and speakers. It was all very exciting, and still is – this is where I feel God most closely, and when I am here, in this space, I always feel like I am right where I’m supposed to be. Without fail. I have no doubt that this is where I am supposed to be and that this is what I am supposed to be doing in this season of my life.
Unfortunately, though, this journey is not a cheap one. While writing may be free, requiring nothing more than a laptop and an internet connection, writing the way God has asked me to write is not without cost. It can be very expensive, and this has been a struggle for me as I consider all the ways I manage to spend money without helping to bring much money in. My writing has cost money and, as yet, no one has ever offered any payment in return. (Sigh.)
That’s enough to cause internal conflict, but add to that my passion and calling into international missions, and things get very tricky. And, honestly, things get expensive. God has been so faithful to provide for the places He has called me. We have never questioned whether He would make it work, but there have been questions in my own mind about how it would work and what I could do to help.
At about the same time as this all became a serious issue for me (me – not US – because I have kept much of my concern inside), I was struggling with a much more personal issue. I have been lonely. I have been feeling the deep desire for relationships and community that can only be planted by God. I have longed for the kind of friends that walk through life together, they with me and I with them. There have been a number of hits and misses, and though I have made some terrific friends in recent months, something was still missing. I needed a way to connect with other women.
I did a lot of praying about both situations. Money and friends, God, friends and money…..work this out somehow, Lord….You know what I need.
And then, as God seems to love to do, He introduced the very thing I never even considered as an option….only He introduced it as a solution.
So I began my journey with direct sales, and it has been wonderful. It is a business, yes, and I do have hopes for what it could do for our finances. More than that, though, I am trying to just sit back and watch what God has in mind. Because even now, only two weeks after starting down this road, I can see how God has much more in store than what I had originally thought.
He has brought me to community – a supportive, loving community of women who back me up and cheer me on.
He has begun teaching me about setting and pursuing goals – something I have never been very good at, but which my writing aspirations require.
He has been giving me opportunities to connect with my daughter in fun ways. She loves my business, and even tells her friends that she is a consultant, too. (Yeah. It’s pretty adorable.)
He has shown me that I have the opportunity now to set an example for my little girl. I am doing something new – trying something random – and working toward something. My own mom demonstrated that for me, and this is allowing me to do the same for my own daughter.
As my business sponsor said jokingly when I told her about some of this, “who would imagine that God has a bigger plan?” He definitely does, and as I take step after step behind Him, I just trust that He’ll let me see what I need to see, but nothing more. He knows what’s up ahead, and that’s good enough for me.