What I saw and heard this morning broke my heart. .
I stopped for stamps, and I could hear his voice before I ever opened the door. And as soon as I walked into the post office I knew something was wrong. .
A man, yelling, and a woman behind the counter, on the verge of tears. .
His package was late. This was apparently unacceptable to him, and to his mind warranted calling her names and insulting her.
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His tirade went on and on, until she clearly was at her breaking point. Satisfied that he had made his point, he grabbed what packages there were for him and stormed off.
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I was next in line. I stepped up to the counter slowly, giving her a moment to breathe. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “You didn’t deserve that.”
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Her eyes welled up with tears and she asked simply, “How can I help you?”
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I got my stamps. I told her it would be okay. And then, not wanting to hold up the line any longer, I promised I would pray for her as soon as I got to my car. (In retrospect, I wish I had prayed there with her.) As I prayed for her, my own eyes welled up with tears. Never one to like conflict, I was upset by it all and he wasn’t even railing on me.
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Friends, this Christmas season, we have a tremendous opportunity to be light in darkness. The hustle and bustle can bring out the worst in people...or it can bring out the best. Postal workers, cashiers, all of them. They’re doing the best they can, and we can be the ones who shine in the middle of their dark, ridiculous days.
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Just something to think about. We may not be able to fully cancel out the dark negativity they face in the course of a day, but we can be the reminder that this is a season of joy...peace...love and light. #light #hope #lightwins #lifeishard #Christmas #Christmasrush #postalservice #postoffice #themeaningoftheseason
A couple of weeks ago I found myself far out beyond my depth. I had been asked to come discuss my book with a small group of women in an intimate setting. It sounds easy enough, for someone who gets up in front of hundreds, but that setting? Terrifying.
No kidding. Terrifying.
As I was talking, my mind was racing with thoughts of my own inadequacy and how that was not my strength and how that wasn’t where God uses me best. I was speaking words of life to the women around me while speaking words of discouragement to myself. I could feel myself spiraling, and I was afraid my tongue would get tied as my mind spun out of control with contradictory thoughts.
But then the lady next to me shifted in her seat. She was wearing a velour jacket - or at least I think that’s what it’s called. Not quite velvet, but kind of? That funny material that does the same as those flippy sequin things, changing color a little as you run your hand over it?
In any case, as she shifted in her seat, I could suddenly see a pattern in the texture of her jacket: a perfect heart, just behind her right shoulder, where only I could see it from where I was sitting.
A perfect heart, at the perfect moment. Because just as I was sinking into the depths of my self doubt, God revealed the depths of His strength in my weakness. He showed His presence when I was drowning in the sea of my treacherous thoughts. He reminded me that I can go nowhere too deep - nowhere too far from my comfort zone - for Him to reach me.
My thoughts were quieted, and I continued the discussion. No one knew the battle that had just happened there in that quiet living room, but the One who came to my rescue had proven His point. #truth #light #hope #lookforhearts #lovenotesfromGod #seekandyoushallfind #speakersofinstagram #IDontKnowWhatToSayBook
Sometimes my personal Bible study ends like this - with more questions than answers. I think that’s okay, though. I’m digging. Thinking. Searching. And sometimes discovering...sometimes not. It’s in the seeking, though, that anything new is found. Without seeking, no finding. Those moments of discovery, though? Pretty great. #realtalk #Biblestudy #seekandfind #Wordsearch #truth #GospelofMatthew
I’ve recently taken up crocheting.
I know. I’m possibly the least likely person to settle in at the end of the day with a crochet hook, a ball of yarn, and a creation that may or may not end up as a scarf.
It’s not much like me at all, but I love it. It relaxes me and forces me to clear my head with its rhythmic counting - through, 1, 2...through, 1, 2... There’s a problem, though. I be found that I - for whatever reason - hold the yarn and hook so tightly that it quickly becomes nearly impossible to move forward. I tug and pull and eventually finish a stitch, only to find that it’s too tight to match what I’ve already done and far too tight to even undo. I’m stuck in the imperfect presence, frustrated by my actions that got me there and irritated that I can’t even fix what I’ve done.
The other day, though, as I frustratedly pulled and tugged, I felt a similar tug in my spirit that told me to pay attention. “There’s something for you to learn here,” it seemed to say.
And there was. The message? Don’t hold things so tightly. Don’t insist on manipulating things so you feel more in control. Above all....let go. Let go of worry and the need to somehow keep a tight grasp on what is out of your hands, just because it’s unfamiliar and new. Hold things a little more loosely.
So I’ve been holding the yarn a little more loosely and watching what unfolds - a softer, more appealing design that, because I’ve let go a little, looks more like it’s supposed to. Even better, I’ve watched the progress as I’ve moved forward. I haven’t had to linger in one spot, pointlessly trying to undo what I’ve done.
I have to remind myself, every time I sit down to do a row or two, to hold it loosely. Let it go where it goes. And every time I’m tempted to worry or control, I remember my scarf. Maybe it’ll be what I want it to be and maybe it won’t. Either way, I’ve learned a little something in the process and will move forward with confidence to trust the process.
#truthbomb #worry #anxiety #fear #generalizedanxiety #mentalillness #obsessivecompulsive #lettinggo
Hope is a good thing. Keeps us anticipating and waiting.